The Finest Sheets I Have Ever Known

When we finally bought a king size bed I searched high and low for sheets that were high quality at a price I was willing to pay. I found a set at J C Penneys which were significantly marked down.

This set of sheets was the right color. The thread count was 600 which seemed sufficient. They felt right to me and they bore the magic phrase. Egyptian cotton! I didn't know for sure what Egyptian cotton was but I had seen a movie where the heroine buys a set for some shocking amount $1200 I think, and the recipient writes a song entitled Egyptian cotton.

So the color and the price were right, did I mention they were substantially marked down? I think I know why these particular sheets were priced as they were because the elastic in the fitted sheet broke the first time I attempted to put them on the bed. I probably should have returned them but since I had washed them already and they felt so wonderful I kept them.

The set came with two king sized pillow cases. Because my husband uses two pillows, one king and one standard I picked up a set of two standard pillow cases in what I thought was the identical fabric.

Well the loss of elastic was never an issue as the fitted sheet could accommodate a mattress twice the width of ours. I would tuck the edges under when I made the bed and they always stayed put. Each week I would strip this set of sheets off the bed, launder them, and put them right back on.

The color, a muted green, matched our bedroom perfectly. The feel of those sheets was remarkable! They were smooth and crisp with a hint of silkiness. I loved the feel of those sheets and they always felt the same despite the ever increasing number of weekly washings.

That's how I discovered the standard pillow cases were not the same. After 50 or 60 weekly washings the standard pillow cases began to show ware. I checked the tags on the sheets and on the cases. All the information was the same except for the words Egyptian cotton. Some how that designation didn't appear on the pillow cases. I replaced that set of cases with another set of apparent good quality but again not EC. That set wore out too over time despite only one standard case being laundered each week and the king set looking like the day I purchased it.

The third set of pillow cases I bought were Egyptian cotton and they seemed to last much better than the first two sets. Five or six years passed, and somewhere between 250 or 300 washings it finally happened, the first sign of ware. I was putting the bottom sheet on the bed and saw that a small area had been worn very thin. With the sheets on the bed said area was exactly where my husbands feet would be whenever he was in bed.

When I mentioned this to him he tried to dodge the blame saying "I doubt you put the same side of the sheet on the same side of the bed every time". Nice try sweetie. However, I do exactly that. I put the same side of the sheet on the same side of the bed every time. I think a king size bed may be square and the bottom sheet may fit no matter which way you do it but that is not the case with a queen size and that is what we had for the first ten years of our marriage. I had gotten into the habit of starting the fitted sheet with the corner that had the tag on it on the lower right corner of the bed. This was my method and I never deviated.

Consequently the tiny blue stain from some Jean Nate' body lotion always appeared on my side of the bed at knee level. I knew for sure what had vanquished my wonderful indestructible bed sheets. It was none other than my darling husbands feet his Fred Flintstone feet. Damn them! Damn those feet to hell

Obama Administration Resembles Emily Litella

Are you old enough to remember Gilda Radner's SNL character Emily Litella? Ms. Litella would speak out on some issue that she had misheard like the "Deaf Penalty" or "Eagle Rights". Once her misunderstanding was pointed out to her she would simply say "Never mind."

Well the Obama Administration is saying "Never mind" on a host of issues. When Obama took office the mastermind of 9-11 KSM (look it up if you need to this creature does not deserve a name and I will not use his full name ever again) had been tried by a military tribunal, had proudly plead guilty & was close to the death penalty he had requested. "Death Penalty" not "Deaf Penalty" Emily.

The Obama Administration decided they could do what had already been done, better. Consequently they stopped the process for two years of political posturing and missteps that have finally brought KSM back to a Military trial. Return to "GO" do not collect $200.00! I would like to think that the President & Eric Holder would not have spent the past 4 years undermining the integrity of U.S. Military Tribunals if they had known this wuld happen. It's like these guys never consider the future consequences of their words & actions.

I'll never forget Obama's first act in office. Our new President signed an executive order stating that the military prison at Guantanamo would be closed. The President had no idea how this was going to be done. That was illustrated 10 seconds later when in response to the question "How" the President asked an aide if there was a second order for him to sign with the procedure. The aide momentarily stunned recovered and replied "Ah, That has not been determined yet".

Two years later the number one priority of this Administration, closing Guantanamo is another "Never mind". Apparently the creation of a detention center in a spot that was under U.S. control but not on U.S. soil was the perfect solution for dealing with terrorists. Clinton tried using civilian courts against the first wave of terrorists who bombed the World Trade Center in 1993 and they were caught and convicted. However treating people who were waging war against this country as criminals paved the way for the 9-11 attack. Clinton could not know this for sure in 1993 but in 2009 with the benefit of hindsight Obama should have known better.

Well, never mind.

Ski Stories

A man crashed his snowboard into a tree and sunk so deeply into the loose snow around the tree he could not get himself out. He had his cell phone and called his wife asking her to call the Ski Patrol for help. He told her "If they don't find me I am going to die". To which the concerned wife replied "Are you serious?" Causing him to scream into the phone "Call them! Apparently being buried alive in snow makes some folks cranky. This did remind me of a couple of my scary ski stories.

I was skiing one beautiful day and not paying attention to the trails as I was following a couple of young hotdogs from my club. I guess I lagged behind a bit and taking a turn I thought the guys had taken I found myself off the trail. The snow was deep and messy and I came to a stop and didn’t think I could turn around in my skis so I took them off planning to walk out to the trail.

This was a big mistake as I immediately sunk to my armpits in the loose snow. I had a moment of panic when I found I could neither crawl out of the snow nor put my skis back on buried as I was. After a few minutes I devised an exit plan. I arranged my skis and poles within reach and where they could not slip away or sink below the snow. I took one ski and used it to compact the snow directly in front of me. In just 5-10 minutes I had built a wall of snow that was firm enough for me to climb up on it to get my skis back on my boots.

I carefully sidestepped until I was pointed in the direction I needed to go. I brushed most of the snow off myself and skied out on to the trail with a big sigh of relief. I skied down to the lift thinking I had gotten my self into a very dangerous situation but had also gotten myself out, on my own. I waited at the lift for the guys to “catch up” with me confident they would not know how I got “ahead” of them. They came along shortly and neither one asked where I had been so I knew no help would have come from them. I focused on a second moment of relief as I was safe and no one knew I had gotten lost & nearly buried alive.

Later that evening an older woman who was one of the officers in the Ski Counsel approached me. “Did I see you rolling around in the snow just off one of the trails this morning?” Rats, I thought I had gotten off clean. This person had an uncanny knack for catching me at my worst; it figures she would have been on the lift that ran above me during the exact time of my little adventure. “No” I smoothly lied, “That wasn’t me.” “The person I saw was wearing a silver & pink ski suit just like yours” she persisted. “Well” I laughed “I bought that ski suit from the J C Penney’s catalog I can hardly be the only person on the mountain who owns one.”

I’m sure she knew I was lying but I didn’t care. She could never be 100% sure and without proof she was unlikely to tell anyone else. I was not going to admit the unfortunate person she saw was me, no way!

The next time I got lost on a mountain was at Vail. I love Vail. I used to like to say Aspen is expensive because it’s Aspen , Vail is expensive because it’s worth it. Vail has a big ski area and once again I was relying on the kindness of strangers and not even bothering to carry a map of the ski trails. I can’t really tell you where I went wrong but I was lost, I was alone and I could see a road. I popped my skis off and hiked to the road where there was a sign announcing “Vail 2 miles ahead”. What, how was that even possible?

I saw a building which appeared to be a mechanic business or something like that. I walked to the business thinking I could ask to use the phone and call a cab to get me back to the base of the mountain. I was supposed to be in a race in about an hour on the far side of Vail ski area. Although the men I spoke with did not refuse to call me a cab they did point me in the direction of a nearby Hyatt which had it’s own ski lift that I could use to get back on the marked ski trails of Vail.

I got to the lift rather easily and there was no one checking to make sure I was a guest of the hotel or in any way restricting access. I took this lift to the top of one of the Vail Ski trails. It took me more than an hour skiing down and taking the next lift up to work my way from one side of the ski area to the opposite side where the Florida Ski Counsel downhill race was taking place. I got to the top of the course just in time to take my first run after hearing the team captain scream “Where the hell have you been?” Having just skied for about 90 minutes straight I didn’t have the breath to respond. I had a good run though as I had never hit the race course so thoroughly warmed up!

On another ski day I was with two older guys who were real die hards. They liked to go to the very top of the mountain for the last run of the day and ski all the way to the bar at the bottom non-stop. I was happy to join then and we all arrived completely out of breath. These guys liked to dance too, as did I. I had found that if I danced after skiing I wouldn’t wake up stiff and sore the next morning. If I just skied, stopped and sat around I would suffer for it tomorrow. We got a pitcher of beer and proceeded to dance in our ski boots.

Two Australian guys watching us got a kick out of this. They came by our table and asked my two guy friends “Would it be okay if we danced with your young lady?” To which my “friends” said “Sure go right ahead!” Something about this whole transaction rubbed me the wrong way. If someone wants to dance with me I think they should ask me not my prior dance partners.

However I did dance with the Aussie. I thought refusing to dance would make me look petty. Besides, I had a better punishment in mind for this charming male chauvinist. The next song was pretty fast and this guy was going to dance in his ski boots too since we had made it look so easy. I think this might have been his first day at altitudes much higher than those he came from down under. Ski boots are pretty heavy and dancing in them can wear one out. I was not going to stop until this guy begged for mercy or passed out. He lasted two songs, better than I expected and thanked me and staggered back to his buddy and collapsed in his seat.

Good times!

A World Without Children

Most people are unaware that there are Enviro-Mentals out there rooting for the end of the human race. One spokesman for this point of view whose name I never bothered to remember has had a vasectomy and urges all humans to be sterilized. Do these people ever imagine what would happen if the idea they are pushing actually caught on?

I'm sure they imagine a beautiful pristine world with no people to muck it up. I don't now what a "perfect" world would be worth without anyone alive to witness and enjoy it. But what would it take to get to that point? How horrible to be one of the last expiring elderly with no younger people around to care for you in your last days? How terrible would it be to live for decades without children in the world. It would be like Narnia under the White Witch where it was always winter but never Christmas.

The world is a wonderful thing but without people it serves no purpose.

Is a cup of tea too much to ask?

Is a cup of tea too much to ask? If you are a coffee drinker perhaps you can relate. Imagine that when you wake up and stagger into the kitchen one morning seeking that first cup that you need so desperately only to find that someone has hidden the coffee. This is something that happens to me about every 3 to 6 months. Making my morning tea requires four things, a cup, a teabag, sweetener and my two cup measuring cup. Who can wait for a kettle to boil when the microwave can serve up two cups of boiling water in 3 minutes? However, I need my Pyrex two cup measuring cup to hold the water while it boils. This has been explained to my husband on several occasions.

Still, this morning I was ready for my necessary cup of tea and my husband was already gone to work. My cup which I had left on the kitchen counter was nowhere to be found. It was not in the dishwasher, where I usually find it. It was not in either of the kitchen cabinets where plates, cups and bowls abide. I did find a rarely used 1 quart measuring cup and filled it half way and put it into the microwave.

I prepared my tea cup with a tea bag and two packets of Splenda and then had two minutes to stop and think. Where? Where could he have put it this time? I realized that both of my 2 cup and my 1 cup measuring cups were all missing. They had to be together somewhere. Two out of three had been in the dishwasher which my husband emptied the evening before. Okay, I had already looked where these items should be it was time to look where they shouldn’t be.

It was a short search. I found all three cups stacked inside each other on the top shelf of the pantry next to the flour, sugar and microwave popcorn. Should I explain my need for this one item to never be moved or just buy two more identical cups as back-ups? I could stash them in secret places like an alcoholic hiding booze. That question needs to be left to a morning when I get my cup of tea without the scavenger hunt.

Governor Christy Scandal?

I had heard as you may have that Governor of New Jersey Chris Christy is being investigated by the Obama Justice department for overspending on trips while serving as Attorney General of New Jersey. I hadn't heard any details and was concerned that someone who is such a fiscal conservative could have been living large on the taxpayers’ dime.

Fox and Friends broke the story this morning with figures. The Justice Department reviewed 23 trips taken between 2007 and 2009. By determining what the cheapest accommodations available were they have determined Christy could have paid $2176 less over those 23 trips.

Really? Really Obama? Really Eric Holder? You decided to drop charges against a Black Panther standing in front of a polling place with a 14 inch baton in a holster at his hip. You decided to START OVER prosecuting KSM (Khalid Sheikh Mohammed) despite the fact that he had been found guilty by a military tribunal. KSM has admitted he was the mastermind of the 9/11 attach and had asked for the death penalty. TWO YEARS LATER, Eric Holder says he is close to a decision regarding where the new trial for KSM will take place.

Still the DOJ had the time and resources to comb through the old expense reports of a popular Republican Governor looking for dirt. Despite their partisan efforts all they come up with was alleged over-spending by comparing the lowest possible rate with the rate Christy paid. This was brought up during the election and dismissed as nonsense. As Governor Christy said, "There is a limited number of rooms available at the government rate, if you get one you get one if you don't you don't.”

With Obama taking an entourage of 3,000 to India and Nancy Pelosi using a military jet to get from D.C. to California weekly at a cost of over $20k per trip they have a lot of nerve trying to sully Governor Christy with this petty partisan bull S#%*.

The Sins of Jimmy Carter

The world will be a safer place when former President Carer is no longer able to speak or write. In addition to being possibly the worst President in the 20th century Carter has continued to harm this nation and the world since leaving office. Carter is endlessly lauded for Habitat for Humanity which is actually a wasteful inefficient attempt at providing needed housing. This organization spends an average of $100K per family helped and those helped still have a mortgage to pay when they move in to their "habitat".

Carter gave away the Panama Canal. America built the canal and losing control of it could have a devastating impact if the control ends up in the wrong hands. Carter decreed the canal would leave American hands on HIS BIRTHDAY in 1979.

Carter, without being asked to do so, inserted himself into America's negotiations with North Korea during the Clinton Administration. This undermined the "hard-line" Clinton stated and weakened our position. Thanks to his interference and the incompetence of Madeline Albright North Korea has nuclear weapons now.

Carter systematically undermined the Shah of Iran and allowed Islamic extremists to take control of Iran. This, Carters biggest sin, set the stage for the rise of Islamo-fascism, the September 11 attacks and the war on terror that we will be fighting for the next 50 years.

Way to go Jimmy!

Woe to You

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” (Matthew 23: 27-28).