Ski Stories

A man crashed his snowboard into a tree and sunk so deeply into the loose snow around the tree he could not get himself out. He had his cell phone and called his wife asking her to call the Ski Patrol for help. He told her "If they don't find me I am going to die". To which the concerned wife replied "Are you serious?" Causing him to scream into the phone "Call them! Apparently being buried alive in snow makes some folks cranky. This did remind me of a couple of my scary ski stories.

I was skiing one beautiful day and not paying attention to the trails as I was following a couple of young hotdogs from my club. I guess I lagged behind a bit and taking a turn I thought the guys had taken I found myself off the trail. The snow was deep and messy and I came to a stop and didn’t think I could turn around in my skis so I took them off planning to walk out to the trail.

This was a big mistake as I immediately sunk to my armpits in the loose snow. I had a moment of panic when I found I could neither crawl out of the snow nor put my skis back on buried as I was. After a few minutes I devised an exit plan. I arranged my skis and poles within reach and where they could not slip away or sink below the snow. I took one ski and used it to compact the snow directly in front of me. In just 5-10 minutes I had built a wall of snow that was firm enough for me to climb up on it to get my skis back on my boots.

I carefully sidestepped until I was pointed in the direction I needed to go. I brushed most of the snow off myself and skied out on to the trail with a big sigh of relief. I skied down to the lift thinking I had gotten my self into a very dangerous situation but had also gotten myself out, on my own. I waited at the lift for the guys to “catch up” with me confident they would not know how I got “ahead” of them. They came along shortly and neither one asked where I had been so I knew no help would have come from them. I focused on a second moment of relief as I was safe and no one knew I had gotten lost & nearly buried alive.

Later that evening an older woman who was one of the officers in the Ski Counsel approached me. “Did I see you rolling around in the snow just off one of the trails this morning?” Rats, I thought I had gotten off clean. This person had an uncanny knack for catching me at my worst; it figures she would have been on the lift that ran above me during the exact time of my little adventure. “No” I smoothly lied, “That wasn’t me.” “The person I saw was wearing a silver & pink ski suit just like yours” she persisted. “Well” I laughed “I bought that ski suit from the J C Penney’s catalog I can hardly be the only person on the mountain who owns one.”

I’m sure she knew I was lying but I didn’t care. She could never be 100% sure and without proof she was unlikely to tell anyone else. I was not going to admit the unfortunate person she saw was me, no way!

The next time I got lost on a mountain was at Vail. I love Vail. I used to like to say Aspen is expensive because it’s Aspen , Vail is expensive because it’s worth it. Vail has a big ski area and once again I was relying on the kindness of strangers and not even bothering to carry a map of the ski trails. I can’t really tell you where I went wrong but I was lost, I was alone and I could see a road. I popped my skis off and hiked to the road where there was a sign announcing “Vail 2 miles ahead”. What, how was that even possible?

I saw a building which appeared to be a mechanic business or something like that. I walked to the business thinking I could ask to use the phone and call a cab to get me back to the base of the mountain. I was supposed to be in a race in about an hour on the far side of Vail ski area. Although the men I spoke with did not refuse to call me a cab they did point me in the direction of a nearby Hyatt which had it’s own ski lift that I could use to get back on the marked ski trails of Vail.

I got to the lift rather easily and there was no one checking to make sure I was a guest of the hotel or in any way restricting access. I took this lift to the top of one of the Vail Ski trails. It took me more than an hour skiing down and taking the next lift up to work my way from one side of the ski area to the opposite side where the Florida Ski Counsel downhill race was taking place. I got to the top of the course just in time to take my first run after hearing the team captain scream “Where the hell have you been?” Having just skied for about 90 minutes straight I didn’t have the breath to respond. I had a good run though as I had never hit the race course so thoroughly warmed up!

On another ski day I was with two older guys who were real die hards. They liked to go to the very top of the mountain for the last run of the day and ski all the way to the bar at the bottom non-stop. I was happy to join then and we all arrived completely out of breath. These guys liked to dance too, as did I. I had found that if I danced after skiing I wouldn’t wake up stiff and sore the next morning. If I just skied, stopped and sat around I would suffer for it tomorrow. We got a pitcher of beer and proceeded to dance in our ski boots.

Two Australian guys watching us got a kick out of this. They came by our table and asked my two guy friends “Would it be okay if we danced with your young lady?” To which my “friends” said “Sure go right ahead!” Something about this whole transaction rubbed me the wrong way. If someone wants to dance with me I think they should ask me not my prior dance partners.

However I did dance with the Aussie. I thought refusing to dance would make me look petty. Besides, I had a better punishment in mind for this charming male chauvinist. The next song was pretty fast and this guy was going to dance in his ski boots too since we had made it look so easy. I think this might have been his first day at altitudes much higher than those he came from down under. Ski boots are pretty heavy and dancing in them can wear one out. I was not going to stop until this guy begged for mercy or passed out. He lasted two songs, better than I expected and thanked me and staggered back to his buddy and collapsed in his seat.

Good times!